I Don't Usually Find Cool Stuff Online

...but I did today. I regularly check failblog, mostly for videos of people falling down, but also for funny pictures of doofy stuff. They're great because you can get the site to filter out all the yuck with a g-rated option. But then they have all these links to other fun stuff. And as you can see on the picture I lifted, this one is from a link to verydemotivational.com, which is all posters like this. Some of them are very coarse, so use extreme caution. This guy was just so...well...awesome! I just had to bring him to my blog.

Babysitters Club

Four Families. Twelve Children. Four Fridays in a row.

This was our night and our little place was swarming with little people. Not midgets, children. We tried to get as much of the fun into the picture as possible. That's me in the corner feeding a not-my-baby. It is fun to have date nights every week, though.

Pre-Wash

Here are the 24 little socks on my piano after they were all knitted up but before they were shrink-washed. Oh, 23 little socks, since the prototype one was already washed and down in the work room. This was a fun project. My picture isn't as artistic as Jessica's. Oh well!

More and Better Carrots This Year

Last year we had six or eight measly, miniature carrot-type plants. This year, with the help of my Vegetable Gardener's Bible, I had a bumper crop of humongous carrots, with thick, lushy greens. I tilled my soil deep, like 12-15 inches deep. I added compost and manure to the soil. I threw the seeds down on the soil all over the wide row and covered them with a board until they started sprouting. Then I took off the board and let 'er rip. They really stepped up and grew like crazy. I came back from my quilt retreat (more info on that later) and 90% of the carrots were ready to harvest RIGHT NOW, so I had to bring them in. Some I used right away, some I dehydrated, some I cooked into baby food for Scotty. Some are still in the fridge drawer, I think.

Anyway, following the advice of a real gardener produces real results. I need a different variety next year. These were all super fatty and a tad stumpy, which is what they were supposed to be, but I prefer a slightly more slender carrot.

Turns Out I AM Awesome

Check out my friend Jessica's blog. She took this fabulous, artistic picture of the socks. I, on the other hand, am the GENIUS who made them. Aren't they SO GREAT?! We took the first sock class together and Jess made a comment about wouldn't it be fun to make 24 little socks from wool and felt them down in hot water, and then string them up for an advent calendar? And you can put little treats in or poems or Christmas activities or whatever you want.

So I did it this summer. Actually, it only took three weeks or so to make all 24. I made them all different, and if I do say so myself, all cute. Since it was worsted weight yarn, it didn't take long to make each one, and I gave them to Jessica as a late birthday/very early christmas gift. The good thing about Jess, is that if I do something that is awesome, she is totally appreciative. She's the girl that will yell out how FABULOUS the gift is, before falling down on the floor praising my handiwork. So, she makes a good friend. It's a good way to get people to make you stuff, too, girl.

I'm not as internetly at Jess, but she tells me this picture of the socks has been adopted into some groups on Flickr or something. So, I guess some things I do turn out to be pretty rad.

Doin' This Lately

Well, I haven't been posting any news lately, even though I do have some news. And that's my bad.

So here's a little taste of what I've been doing lately:

My friend Jess is an instigator. She is forever calling me up and saying,"Look at this cool new thing. Look at that awesome pattern." and etcetera. So she calls me up saying she wants to get back in and get some Quiet Books done and she's got this great new pattern. And I have to agree, it's pretty fabulous.

They're all monsters on every page, and there is one with a zipper and in its mouth are finger puppets, there's the puzzle one you see here, the tic-tac-toe one you see here, a dress-up one, and basically just a ton of fun stuff for little ones. I'm thinking maybe I'll make this for Scotty for Christmas. I'd better get it done STAT because my Christmas project-line-up is ever-growing.

You can get the patterns online at copycrafts' etsy shop:

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6034253

She has a bunch of other real cuties, like the All About Shoes one and the Bug one and the new one that my friend Jess is lovin', Under the Sea. Anyway, check it out and wish me luck getting all my projects finished!

She Just Gets So Excited to be Done

Jules just came home with a funny worksheet she did today in school.

The animals are holding the last letters of some word families, and then to go with the pictures on their tummies, there are lines and all you have to do is fill in the one letter that will go with the letters the animals are holding. The words you're spelling all rhyme and match the pictures.

So, ok, example:

The bear is holding "ing" and you fill in King next to the king picture, Ring next to the ring picture, and Wing next to the wing picture.

So far so good, right? The elephant is holding "an" and the words are Fan, Pan, Man.

The Monkey is holding "at" and this is where you start to see trouble, but it's understandable:
Bat, Hat, Maws.

And then the really hilarious part is the giraffe, holding "ug" and the words Jules has by the three pictures are:

Bedl
Badl
Mat

I am laughing and laughing about this.

For those of you not used to decoding first grader spelling, the words Jules wrote were Beetle, Bottle, and Mat.

And for those of you still not getting why this is so hilarious, the pictures were of Bug, Jug, and Rug.

And for the record, Jules is upstairs right now experiencing Rage Against the Machine. I suspect she's just really tired, but it's pretty funny. She started going hysterical when I said that Dawn and Serina could not come play because we've got piano lessons in an hour or so. And then Jules asked me if we could go to Dairy Queen, which I also had to Nix. And then she came back all bleary eyed and asked, couldn't we drop Eric off at piano lessons and then go to Sonic or Dairy Queen. And with this last insulting no, she couldn't handle it anymore and flew off her handle.

I May Only be the SECOND Funniest Lady On Earth

A couple fun things:

Several months ago, the children were playing and they came to show me their weapons. Eric had several swords tucked in his belt. Russell had a couple pistols tucked in his belt. And tucked in Jules belt, deadly Magic Markers. Oooooh! Stay away from that one!

Also several months ago, Jules asked me if the tangerines were "oranges or orangatangs?"

Then just the other day she picked up a sweet potato from the counter and asked me if it was for Scotty. I said Yes and she asked,"A Yak? For Scotty?"

I always thought I was pretty much the funniest person ever, but I may have been bypassed by someone even more hilarious!

Our Activity Tonight

We're playing Connect Four for Family Home Evening and I've been looking at the box. It took me awhile to find our box online and it's a tiny picture, but if you can zoom in and see the kids on this box, you will understand when I say that they are hopped up on some crazy hasbro goofballs or SOMETHING, because DANG!

Crossing the Street

I've had a little problem for quite a while now. It's going to sound like I'm an ungrateful wretch. But if I can save one person from enduring the torment I've had to go through, it's worth it.

The problem is this: I will be standing at the curb. It's obvious I want to cross the street or parking lot. And so cars coming will slow down and stop, right in the middle of traffic, to let me cross. At first glance it seems like a nice thing, right? Well IT'S NOT AND I WISH THEY WOULD KEEP GOING!

My point is this: just get out of my way already so I can cross SAFELY. Usually I'll have little kids with me, or else I'll be all loaded down with a baby in a car seat and shopping bags plus holding some little kid's hand. So my question to the guy stopping is, REALLY? You REALLY want me to drag all this out in front of your running vehicle while you back up traffic for no reason? REALLY?? Because I'm already stopped here, waiting for you to go somewhere else, out of my way.

To combat this extremely unwanted "courtesy" I usually avert my eyes. Sometimes they're so insistent on "being nice" that they sit and wait, even though my eyes are averted. At times like this it's convenient to have a kid around, since you can pretend you're doing something with the child or teaching him something or chatting. But the thing that brought this to a head for me, was that one day I was out with all four of my little ones and this happened. I averted my eyes and the driver eventually moved on. Then at another store, another dang driver did this to me and waited through all my eye aversion and kid-chat stalling, and then HONKED AT ME to go, even though as a mother and responsible adult, I felt it was UNSAFE TO DRAG MY CHILDREN INTO THE STREET IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR!!!! Don't HONK at me, hoser! Just move along and we'll all be SO MUCH HAPPIER!

In conclusion, I would like to applaud true courtesy, which in my view, is getting your fanny out of other people's way.

Nice Fort

Are those your henchmen, there in the front? Protecting you and your doll-high-chair walls from dangerous villains? And I like that sturdy paper wall, there on the left. Keep up the good construction work, boys!

They only take pictures of the REALLY COOL stuff.

How Artsy

Sometimes Eric comes to me and asks if he can take a picture of his latest Bionicle Robot Monster Creation. And I let him. This is what was on the camera, in amongst the action shots of Toa Maris or whatever they are called. So, pretty arts shot there, son. Can I get that in the 8 X 10?

Family History Moment

We had a family history moment -- back in May. Checked it out in PAF and here's my great-great grandmother's burial place, listed as Denver, Denver, Colorado. So I looked it up and it's just up the street. I've passed the cemetery many a time. Several a time, I guess is more accurate since I make it a point not to drive around if I can avoid it. She's totally got us tricked, though, and I would never have found her if not for the cemetery office. On MY family history, she's Mary Manita Clark, married to a guy named Miner. And that's NOT what's on the stone pictured above. The awesome lady in the office gave me a photocopy of the original burial record card (funeral arrangements by Horan McConaty just over by Seth's work) PLUS told us that there are two family plots available to anyone who can prove descendency..... We're not likely to jockey around and try to get those plots, since I suspect the Coughlins may be just a smidge more entitled, but Seth and I agreed that it is a fabulous cemetery, and double-bonus that it's in an area where you can have stick-up headstones. For some reason, that's important to me, to be able to have a stick-up headstone when I die.

Anyway, I have an actual official link to Denver, in addition to being married to a guy from Colorado. Maybe I'm a daughter of a Colorado Pioneer after all!

One Thing I Learned on the Trek

Here's something I learned on the trek.

Something I don't like about fellows is: loogies. Out in the wilderness, ok, I can see where you might need to spit out some spittle sometimes. That's forgivable. But then there are these guys that are just snorking and splocking and out comes a big old nasty loogie, accompanied by an equally despicable sound. That's just not ok. Where are you doing that at home? Does that end up on your carpet, then? since it's so ok with you just to leave that big pile of goober all over the place? Even out in the trekkin' wilderness, that's just not cool. I do not like it.

I Love Technology - Old Technology

My dad got the Clie for his first year teaching English in China. He didn't use it as much as he thought he might. When he got home the next summer, he was constantly asking me questions and I was every time answering with,"Got it right here in my Palm" which was a Handspring Visor Edge. Thanks for that, Dan. So anyway, a while later, my dad decided the Clie would have a better home with me.

I love this little machine. LOVE it. I have my Christmas Card list in here. I have lists of stuff I like and funny quotes. I have games, of course. I have my calendar for several months. I have phone numbers and email addresses. I have recipes. It is SO GREAT. This thing can take still pictures and cute little video clips. It has a voice recorder and mp3 player. It has the scriptures and hymnal on it (words only, thanks). So much stuff can fit on here. It is really awesome.

But I did something bad. When we moved here, two and a half years ago, I didn't have a computer hooked up for three weeks. The Clie battery, bless its little heart, tried valiantly to keep the device going. When I finally got my computer moved in and set up, the battery could only hold enough charge to run the device for 15 or 20 minutes. I got real worried about it and stopped using it, so I wouldn't lose it altogether. I kept it in the charging cradle. But of course, this caused something catastrophically ironic: I lost it altogether. I haven't used the device for two years. I have been wishing and yearning to be able to use it and rediscover my data. Sweet data, I love you!

I went to the battery store a couple months ago. Six months ago. They wanted me to prepay the 40 bucks so they could order the battery and have it in two weeks later. I waffled. Forty bucks! Maybe I can get it cheaper online. Meh, nothing doing. I looked one time and got discouraged.

So finally I remembered to bring it with me and went again into the battery store. It's up by Sam's Club. The guy was duly impressed by my little device and good news! they actually had the battery right there, in stock. One battery. I paid it with 32 dollars cash and walked out with my battery and the following piece of information: the back is not soldered on . The battery is not soldered on. The back is just screwed on and the battery clips in.

I came home. I unscrewed the back. I unclipped the old battery. I clipped in the new battery. I screwed the back on. IT WORKED. IT TURNED ON. I was so delighted. DELIGHTED. I had synched up one last time before taking out the old battery, so I just synched again with the new one and here were all my glorious data back! Hooray! A christmas miracle!!

I rediscovered some videos of Eric hitting Jules in the face with snow and Eric age 5 reading from the scriptures. There were some fun audio files of Eric age 4 reciting his address and phone number. My whole dang Christmas Card list was back. It was the greatest day of my life, during the month of June. I LOVE having my Clie back. My only regret is not having done it two years ago.

The Kimono

I'm a one-piece girl. I usually like the snap-in-the-crotch, full-body undie-suit. But we were given several of these Kimono-style baby undie-shirts when Eric was a baby and have been toting them around since then. My main issue with these was that they're the same as shirts, for babies. Where do you pick up babies? Under the arms. And when you hoist up a baby that way, boops! up comes the shirt, and out sticks the baby's fat old belly. And it's not a good look for me, the shirt-stuffed-up-under-the-armpits-gut-hanging-out look. Plus can that possibly be comfy at all?

So we've had these kimonos for nine years and since I put them on Eric a couple times as a baby, I've never used them. Until now. Until this last March, I should say. Scott had his little skull-surgery on his head. He had a lot of bone removed, and most of what was left was "morselized." So his head was (Doctors' word, not mine) Boggy, for a while afterwards. Real squishable and something you didn't want to touch that much. Also, you didn't want to stretch a shirt down over that. And here is where the Kimono really shone. I could dress my little boggy-head baby without ever touching his head. Side note: if he lay on his head in any one position for too long, that side would slump down flat. Ewwww. So he could lie there on the changing table and get dressed without me putting strain on his squish-head. Day after day, I would thank my lucky stars for dragging these kimonos around with me for so many years. They DO have a good use! They're worth something after all! Hooray!

Another side note: Scott's head is almost totally healed. A couple places in his cool, serpentine scar look almost totally unscathed. He still has a huge soft-spot from where the bone was removed, but he's pretty much a totally normal baby. Except for being super-ultra-cute and exceptionally sweet.

I Did Something

Well, it's MyNews after all. I wish I could post here that I had made a sweater or something. I'm nearly finished with a pair of knitted socks. I actually put in a row on the sweater I started when I was having cancer treatments WAY back in February. These "accomplishments" of mine don't really lend themselves to great headlines. But I have been doing things. Soon I'll start posting pictures of this year's garden, which I think, looks FABULOUS. Also I plan to post pictures of my berry patch which has five strawberry plants, three raspberries, a blackberry, and a currant bush, none of which have died yet. So, major accomplishment there. I also planted three blueberry bushes, counting on the soil to be acidic enough for them not to die but I'm not placing any bets on that one.

All I'm saying is, that I'm doing stuff, even if things aren't getting finished enough for fabulous braggy headlines.

Plus we had a great Memorial Day, including a trip to my Great-Great-Grandma's grave here in Denver, and a VFW ceremony that we kind of stumbled into while we were there. Also some dang good hamburgers made by Seth.

Howdy Y'all!

Seth said to me awhile back that he rather missed Carolina Barbecue, so I looked up the recipe for the sauce and found a hushpuppy recipe that didn't involve buttermilk. I already had the canned potatoes from "the Place" and so this last Sunday I put some pork chops (gasp! blasphemy! for all you true Carolina guys) in the crock pot (I know! I know it's not authentic!!) with some pepper and onions. After church they were tenderly delicious. In one big flurry, we got the sauce made, microwaved the potatoes and green beans, and deep-fried the hushpuppies. Deep-frying on a whim, you say? Yes, and it came out REALLY WELL.

Here are the recipes for a heart-of-the-Rockies-Carolina-Barbecue-Feast:

Meat: pork something, grilled until tender, smoked until tender or crock-potted until tender.

Barbecue Sauce: Jack Daniels Old Time Cookbook Version 2 from homecooking.about.com

2 c. white vinegar
1 T. cayenne pepper
1/2 t. black pepper

We used this recipe because we already had all the stuff for it, except we used crushed red pepper instead of cayenne. We had the cayenne, too. I'm just saying. Also, open the windows while you're bringing it to a boil and simmering for 10 minutes because it is ZINGY.

Hush Puppies: from the cookbook River Road Recipes, published by the Junior League of Baton Rouge, from 1959 to 1969. Recipe from Mrs. Robert Bowlus.

1 c. cornmeal
1 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
1 t. sugar
1 c. flour
1 egg
3/4 c. milk
dash red pepper
chopped green onion tops
1 T. grated onion

Sift dry ingredients into bowl. Beat egg, add milk, and add this to cornmeal mixture. Add onion and red pepper. Drop by spoonful in hot deep fat (375 F) and fry until brown. Should you like a lot of crust, these may be patted flat. This makes approximately two dozen. While there is a great deal of speculation as to the origin of hush puppies, there should be no speculation on the tastiness of these.

Except that I omitted the green onion tops and used onion powder for the grated onion. Next time I might double the baking powder because I think mine's not acting as well as it used to. Plus I scooped them out with the little mini P-Chef scoop and they came out SO CUTE and roundy.

So you get the hot pups and the pork-n-sauce on the table, get the canned potatoes and green beans out of the micro, put the white bread on the table, pop open some cole-slaw you got at "the Place" and chow! Too bad we don't drink sweet tea!

What Does It Mean?

So I just walked by Jules' room and she was in there, in classic Kid Mode, playing dolls. She was doing the voices and the different characters and everything. And it got me thinking.

They say that kids' play is practice for social situations and growing up. And it makes sense, to see Jules in there playing dolls and loving her little ones, and imagining her growing up and being a good mother from all her practice.

The question is this: if Jules practices for motherhood by playing with dolls, then what is Eric practicing for when he spends hour upon hour building legos and Bionicles? What adult-hood practice is he getting, building so many robot monsters? Is it problem-solving? Is it preparation for his intended career: inventor? Or is it just something to pass the time and should I just be grateful it's not video games?

What does it all mean?!

What Russell Did Just Now

Oh. My. Gracious. Russ has been having a hard time lately. I believe it's because he's just turned three, and his whole world has been so tumultuous lately and a lot of good reasons, but also I fear that it's because he's secretly insane and will later have serious mental problems.

Anyway, he was over at the couch playing Little People and then he got out this HotWheels car wash thing and he was getting SO FRUSTRATED because the slide/ramp WOULDN'T STAY UP. He was stampling his little feet and screaminating and I was like, What? What?! I want to HELP you!! And he ended up just running away in frustration. This always happens in movies and on tv, but we weren't allowed to do it in my family growing up. So I let him go, to see what would happen. And what happened was, he put himself to bed. I just went down there and he was snuggled up under his favorite green blanket, hugging onto his favorite stuffed animal, Humphrey the camel. And he was totally calm. He just needed to get away, DANG IT. And now that I just peeked in there again, he's fast asleep. He put himself in for a nap when things got too hard. He really is my kind of boy after all.

The sad part is, that I have to wake him up in like five minutes to go drop him and all the other children off at the cousins so I can go for my post-cancer Endocrinologist appointment and get my Synthroid dose adjusted.

To the Chunky Girl in New York

Dear Chunky Girl,

Remember that, in the summer of what? 1982? 83? when we were both enrolled in that free-ish summer program at Colton elementary school? and my two big brothers were there also, and my little sister? Remember that? Well, do you remember the time you brought your boom box and while we were waiting for the doors to open, you played "Beat It" by Michael Jackson? Remember that? That was awesome.

At the time I didn't realize the song was by the King of Pop. But I did realize that it sounded REALLY COOL. That bonging and bomb-dropping at the beginning of the song caught my interest so that forever after that I thought of you and how cool that song was that you played for us doofy little nerd kids.

Several years ago my awesome husband Seth got me the album "Thriller" for Christmas. And when I got my ipod I ripped it onto there. And I would hardly ever listen to it. And then a couple weeks ago I got a Jones SO STRONG to listen to it, that I had to start it up RIGHT THEN. Chunky Girl, I still LOVE THIS SONG. Also, Billie Jean and Wanna Be Startin' Something and Thriller. In fact, I just created a new playlist on my ipod called Super Dance Favorites just for these songs. Also I put in Boogie Shoes and Saturday Night Fever.

So, Thank You, Chunky Girl. You opened up a fabulous musical realm for me, even though I didn't really enter that realm until 25 years later. Nerd, remember? Here's hopin' you're still rockin' out, Chunky Girl in New York.

Rock On!
Elizabeth

Having Fun on a Snow Day

We sent sledding this afternoon to take advantage of our huge snowfall. We're just now getting around to having our hot chocolates. I gave the packets to the big kids to open themselves. Jules RIIIIPS hers open, which usually makes it spray everywhere. This time it didn't. And her rip just happened to form a perfect spout on one side of the envelope for pouring the hot chocolate powder. And then my smart little dumpling proceeded to pour the powder out...

the other, more shredded side.

Make a Guess. Now Double It.

Did you see Amadeus? There's a part where Mozart is gleefully explaining his new piece of music to the Emperor and he wants the Emperor to guess how long he can keep up a certain musical thing. The Emperor guesses two minutes and then Mozart tells him to double it. And double it again. And the guess winds up being eight minutes, but Mozart's actual answer is 20 minutes. He's able to keep it up for 20 minutes.

So here's a fun game. I'll describe a certain medical thing and you guess how much it cost. Then I want you to double your guess. Then double it again. Then I'll tell you the real cost. This'll be fun.

So I went for my radioactive iodine treatment to finish curing my cancer. It involved me going to the hospital, having had nothing to eat all morning, and sitting in a chair. Then they took a blood sample to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Surprise! I wasn't. So then they told me all the precautions and warnings, and then the doctor came in and told me all the precautions and warnings. Then the little duder brought me a little tiny radioactive pill inside a vial inside a lead vessel. I swallowed the pill and they instantaneously ushered me out. Out! Get out, radioactive swine! And that's it. So now, do your guess. How much did the hospital charge me for this service: sitting in chair, having blood drawn for pregnancy test, counseling on side effects, and pill swallowage. Have your guess ready? Now double it. Now double that. Have your answer? And now I shall tell you the actual answer. The amount the hospital charged me for this hour-and-a-half service was:




















$8,000. Eight Thousand Dollars. Eight Grand. Eight-Zero-Zero-Zero. Lotta zeros, eh? Lotta buckage, eh? Musta been some FABULOUS counseling. Musta been a SUPER EXTRAORDINARY pill. It did cure what was left of my cancer, as far as we can tell, but eight THOUSAND bones?!!!? DANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS We do have insurance. We will not be payin' no $8000 dollars for this. Don't get me wrong. I'm super grateful to have been able to go radioactive for those weeks, and to have my cancer cured. But DANG!

A Birthday Gift

I spent my birthday at the hospital with little Scotty. Late that evening Seth came to visit us and he even brought me a couple birthday gifts. One of these gifts was a Klean Kanteen. I had asked a while back for some sort of steel drinkin' bottle. Not aluminum: Alzheimers. Not plastic: reproductive harm rumors and whatcetera. So, steel. And Seth somehow remembered and brought it to me on my birthday.

Mine is the blue one. I was worried that the steel would make the water taste all metallica, and also that the water would taste bad, like remember those metal canteens from Scout campouts and hikes? Remember the ugly ones with the stripey blanket stuff on the sides. Ewww. No WAY those are ever getting cleaned out. So that's what I was afraid of. But I've been pleasantly surprised. I fill it up with my delicious Aurora tap water and I drink...delicious Aurora tap water. No yuck metal taste, no mildewy grodiness. Crisp and clean, no caffeine.

In conclusion, I really like my Klean Kanteen. The doofy "K" spelling is mitigated for me by the fact that they spell Klean with an "ea" instead of two e's. So, thumbs up!

Product Review:Toffifay

My sister Dorothy goes to this "Place" for groceries. More on that later. But at The Place you can get all this weird-o candy stuff. This last week, she brought me Toffifay and I will now discuss it.

First of all TERRIBLE NAME. How do you pronounce this???! I assume Europeans can and regularly do pronounce it somehow. But we're in America now! Talk American!

Secondly, this product is described as being "A whole hazelnut in chewy caramel with chocolate hazelnut filling and chocolate. And that's pretty much what it is. The packaging is cool looking, with each piece in its own little dimple in the golden tray. And the candy is cool-looking, like a bullseye or something.

Lastly, the taste. Yummmmm! I love caramel, nuts and chocolate. So this candy really works out well for me. Thumbs up!

Facin' It

Seth joined facebook a couple months ago. It was fun to stand behind him and watch him click "accept, accept, accept" and to watch his "friends" tally rise. And then I was like Find me so and so, and he was all, Find your own friends on Facebook. So I left it at that for awhile. And then Jodi came to take care of my family while I hung out at the hospital with Surgery Scott. And Jodi is Facebook crazy, a little bit. So she signed up me and Dorothy. I have to boast that I am a little bit more attentive to it than Dorothy, so far. It could be that during the last week since we signed up, I have been able to abdicate most of my responsibilities to somebody else due to Chillin' with Scott, but I'm sure pretty soon Dorothy will be kicking my Facebook butt too, like she does in everything we do. Love you girl!

So, join me at Facebook. Become my friend. And if you're not on Facebook, follow my lead and get over the hype and just join it up! Because it really was the hype that was bugging me. Everyone was all Facebook this, change my status that and blah blah. But it turns out to be kind of fun to see what miscellaneous people from your past you can re-connect with and it's a little bit comforting just to be able to let people know what you're doing, without an elaborate phone call or even an email. Or whatever. Just check it out.

New Superhero: RadioactiveMom

My super power is: knitting. I'm radioactive this weekend to cure my cancer, meaning to kill the remaining thyroid cells in my body. So because of that, I'm isolated in my sister's basement guest room, and I'm just watching movies and knitting. Also napping and reading magazines. I've always had a superpower for napping, so that's nothing new. But I am knitting my first real sweater from a real pattern. I started it late last night and I already have three really cool-looking inches done.

My sister Dorothy asked me if I wouldn't wreck the laser in my little DVD player somehow, with being so radioactive. This brings me to my next point: lasers and radioactivity are two TOTALLY different superpowers. Most people might not realize this, but it's true.

It's funny if I have to go upstairs for something, like getting this laptop. I have to dance around the room to avoid getting within three-to-six feet of people, so they don't get nucularized by me. Little Jimmy started coming right at me while I was standing there trying to catch a glimpse of the tv-edited My Cousin Vinny that Dorothy was watching, so I was all backing away and dancing around the kitchen island to get away from him.

And if you're wondering, NO, my pee-wee and breast milk DON'T glow in the dark. That's been the most disappointing thing about this whole weekend. You go radioactive and you expect at least SOMETHING to glow in the dang dark, but no! Not a thing! Ah, well! Take what you can get, I guess.

Krappy Kancer Diet

I have the last major treatment for my thyroid cancer coming up next week and in preparation for that, I am on a low-iodine diet. It turns out that everything I love, food-wise, is riddled with iodine. I don't normally keep track of how much iodine is in my diet; after this is over I won't have to because I don't have a thyroid gland anymore! Sweet, huh? I don't even have to use iodized salt if I don't want to!

The main things that are terrible about this diet are the restrictions on Dairy products and Eggs. I LOVE THESE ITEMS!!! AND there were some totally great Cheese Sales in the last week or two, so now I have all this exciting cheese in my fridge just laughing and laughing at me. Laughing Cow, indeed. Plus I can't eat commercially-made bread, with its insidious iodate dough conditioner. I can eat up to 6 ounces of meat a day, but with no cheese, no buns, no milk, and no scrambled eggs to go with, it's not very exciting. Basically I can eat a ton of fruits and vegetables, and popcorn. Also unsalted peanuts. I made my own dang bread loaves yesterday, with un-iodized salt, but no milk or eggs, and it's better than the stinkin' loaf I made Sunday, which had no oil for some reason. It was so crusty I sounded like the Quarry Cereal commercial trying to choke it down.

The good thing about this low-iodine diet is that I have lost five pounds since I started it on Saturday. The funny thing about this low-iodine diet is that I knew I needed to start it two weeks before my radioactive iodine treatment on the 20th, so last Friday night, late, I started looking up the particulars on the internet. Last minute medical preparation is so great! I got depressed-er and depressed-er, sitting at the computer realizing what all I couldn't eat for the next at least two weeks. The main depressing things are cheese and ice cream. And milk. My sister owns a stinkin' ice cream store, for cryin' out loud! I almost called them right then, at 9:30pm Friday, to ask if I could rush in to the Baskin-Robbins for one last enormous ice cream treat, but then I was thinking maybe it would just be fine to wait until morning. It's a two-week thing, after all. Twelve hours won't make that big a difference. So that's what I did: I dropped the children at their Primary Activity on Saturday morning and went straight to the ice cream store for my breakfast. I had a big old drippy thing that had the following layers: scoop of World Class Chocolate, brownies, bananas, hot fudge, scoop of World Class Chocolate, hot fudge, whipped cream, nuts. No maraschino cherry, thanks, I'm on a low-iodine diet, wink wink. Oh, red food coloring number 3 is also taboo!

Anyway, I'm getting ready to go upstairs and make my special low-iodine recipe for today: Cauliflower Soup! Mmmmm!! I can't wait!!! No it should be pretty good actually, since I am getting hungrier every day. Even cauliflower soup can be good if you can't eat anything else.

The children had leftover spaghetti last night and I was so jealous. It was all tomato-ey and noodley, with meaty chunks and delightful herbs, and it was packed with iodized salt and other no-nos. I went to the dang store and bought myself a bunch of fruit, and then I splurged on the cauliflower, plus peanuts, and popcorns. Cauliflower is a splurge, too, by the way since it was nearly five bucks for one stinkin' head. Anyway, here's hopin' this makes my remaining thyroid cells good and thirsty for iodine, so the dang Nuclear treatment works its Nuclear Magic!!!!

My Kancer Kare Kit

My awesome brother and sister-in-law, Will 'n Jodi, sent this to me for Christmas. Now most of this loot would be fabulous anytime, but they put it all together for my cancer treatments. In the kit were a Zen Rock Garden, Special Foot Cream, Special Lip Balm, Special Cancer Socks, the BBC/A&E Pride and Prejudice, a Buttload of Fancy Chocolate Bars, and an Enormous Jar of Cancer-B-Gone pellets. Holy Hospital Motherlode, Batman! This makes having cancer almost fun!

One of the fun and clever things in the Kit was this pair of Special Cancer Socks. The package says "Cancer Socks: walk all over cancer," which makes me laugh every time. Plus they're really warm and comfy woolly cancer socks. I'm a little annoyed that my Komfy Kancer Sweats I had to get for recouperation made fuzzy black pills all over my Special Cancer Socks.

Then this is maybe the best and most clever part of the Kancer Kare Kit. My brother Will, an amateur pharmacist, mixed up this concoction, which the bottle tells me is "safe and effective" and not to be shared with children. My daughter Jules bought into it, hook-line-and-sinker. She asked me one day what my special Cancer Pills tasted like and I honestly answered,"cherry." I wish I could post the package insert on here. It's really hilarious. It tells me that Cancer-B-Gone pellets are not to be used by Ballerinas, Vampires, Flensers, Nazis, Indentured Servants, or Eskimos, and that this particular brand of Placebo has been associated with a higher risk of "Chocolate Baby Syndrome," a non-life threatening condition in newborns.

Will and Jodi are totally awesome and extremely clever. Just the laughter they sent with this Kit went a long way in curing my cancer, since it's the proverbial Best Medicine. You guys Rock the House!!! Thanks a billion!

My Little Scotty-dog

Well, he's not my only news lately, especially since he's been here for awhile. But he is my cutest news. He's so good and sweet. I can't fault him for anything. Most babies only cry when they need something, if you think about it. Scotty doesn't seem to need as much as other babies, especially his big brother and sister. As a result, ironically, I want to hold him and play with him and snuggle him MORE. He gets a TON of snuggle time, because he LOVES it and it calms him right down. Not to brag, but maybe a little bit, Scotty gets in our bed with Seth and me, and he sleeps right on through the night. Out in his bassinet, he wakes up a couple times a night. Maybe he's hungry, but maybe he just misses us...

Like a Baby

There's something I've been noticing about babies for the last nearly eight weeks since Scotty was born. Babies don't defer to anyone for anything. They know they have a need and they do everything they can to fill it. They find comfort and they do all that they can to keep it. They say something when things aren't right for them. They demand that their needs are met and don't apologize when their needs are met. They don't gloat either.

Scotty for example, says, "eahh..." when he's uncomfortable. We come and put our hand on his tummy and this calms and comforts him. Without thinking, he uses his little mini fists to lasso your hand to his tummy, because it's something he needs and he wants to keep it. When he's hungry, he calls out for food. You give him his lunch and he gloms right on to that, without apologizing, and then gets what he needs and falls asleep. He's unashamed to eat, because that's what he needs.

I'm not sure I'm expressing correctly the idea that I want to share. We need to be like babies. Instead of deferring to others, we should have our needs met unashamedly. I need a hug. I should call over a child or husband or friend and hug that person. There's no shame in being human. Sometimes I make scrambled eggs for breakfast and there's not enough for everyone to have all they want, so I hang back and let my family eat them all. But I love scrambled eggs, with salt and pepper, mmm, that's so tasty. Why don't I just step in and take me a reasonable-size portion, because that's what I need, and there's enough for all. Others needn't be gluttons because I'm trying to be polite. When I'm sleepy, so sleepy I can barely think, why should I stay awake watching a show to be polite? I should say, I'm too sleepy. I need to get comfy in my bed. Why would I not? Where is the glory in being a martyr every second of the day? When something is comfy or not comfy, needed or not wanted, I think we should be like babies and just claim the right to have our needs met reasonably and be calm and happy when they are and not be guilty or ashamed and definitely not gloaty or self-righteous.

Sunday Movie

We have the late church schedule, 1-4. I was just getting ready upstairs all morning and the children were playing upstairs, after being nice and quiet and calm all morning. So I just came downstairs for the first time today and the first thing I hear, is the line "...and Runaway Girls!" from Pioneers in Petticoats.

Classic!! LOVE that show!