My Kancer Kare Kit

My awesome brother and sister-in-law, Will 'n Jodi, sent this to me for Christmas. Now most of this loot would be fabulous anytime, but they put it all together for my cancer treatments. In the kit were a Zen Rock Garden, Special Foot Cream, Special Lip Balm, Special Cancer Socks, the BBC/A&E Pride and Prejudice, a Buttload of Fancy Chocolate Bars, and an Enormous Jar of Cancer-B-Gone pellets. Holy Hospital Motherlode, Batman! This makes having cancer almost fun!

One of the fun and clever things in the Kit was this pair of Special Cancer Socks. The package says "Cancer Socks: walk all over cancer," which makes me laugh every time. Plus they're really warm and comfy woolly cancer socks. I'm a little annoyed that my Komfy Kancer Sweats I had to get for recouperation made fuzzy black pills all over my Special Cancer Socks.

Then this is maybe the best and most clever part of the Kancer Kare Kit. My brother Will, an amateur pharmacist, mixed up this concoction, which the bottle tells me is "safe and effective" and not to be shared with children. My daughter Jules bought into it, hook-line-and-sinker. She asked me one day what my special Cancer Pills tasted like and I honestly answered,"cherry." I wish I could post the package insert on here. It's really hilarious. It tells me that Cancer-B-Gone pellets are not to be used by Ballerinas, Vampires, Flensers, Nazis, Indentured Servants, or Eskimos, and that this particular brand of Placebo has been associated with a higher risk of "Chocolate Baby Syndrome," a non-life threatening condition in newborns.

Will and Jodi are totally awesome and extremely clever. Just the laughter they sent with this Kit went a long way in curing my cancer, since it's the proverbial Best Medicine. You guys Rock the House!!! Thanks a billion!