Response: This Morning's Paper

Seth sometimes doesn't want me to read the paper because of my strong responses.  I'm going to try to keep the stronger responses bottled up inside and only respond to the other stuff.

Scientists find extreme galaxy Washington>>Scientists have found a galaxy that gives birth to  more stars in a day than ours does in a year.  Astronomers used NASA's Chandra X-Ray telescope to spot this distant gigantic galaxy creating about 740 stars a year.  By comparison, our Milky Way galaxy spawns just about one new star each year.  The galaxy is about 5.7 billion light-years away in the center of a cluster of galaxies that give off the brightest x-ray glow astronomers have seen.

-First response:  We're not capitalizing the important words in titles anymore, Wire Services?  That's lame.  It's news, after all.

-Second:  EXTREME GALAXY!!!  The Tony Hawk Galaxy?  The Shaun White Galaxy?  Everything's so EXTREME! these days!

- Third:  ewww!  Galaxies giving birth to stars.  Too graphic!

-Fourth:  A Gigantic, Extreme Galaxy actually does sound pretty cool.

Bumbo Baby Seats recalled Washington>>About 4 million Bumbo Baby Seats are being recalled after nearly two dozen reports of infant skull fractures.  The Consumer Product Safety Commission says babies can wiggle out of the floor seats. 

-First response:  This is super lame.  Two Dozen?  That's it?  That doesn't sound like a dangerous product. This sounds like a case of irresponsible parents badmouthing a company/product that has helped millions of responsible parents.

-Second:  It says right on it not to use it on tables or chairs.  FLOOR ONLY.  I have five little ones of my own, and I will be the first one to tell you that babies are made of rubber.  Babies heads will be, what? 12 inches off the floor? in a properly used Bumbo.  From 12 inches off the floor, no baby is going to suffer a skull fracture, even thrashing the crap on out of that Bumbo.  Even baby Mr. Glass from Unbreakable.

-Third:  Parental supervision.  What does that phrase mean to you?  Yes, you, idiot parents?  That skull fracture?  Your fault!

OK.  It's getting a little heated in here.  Let's all just simmer down now.

And Lastly:  Letters to the Editor.  I can't get into it here.  These are the Forbidden Responses.  Much too inflammatory.  But I did want to say something about two things on the Editorial page.

Obesity is a parental issue [Denver Post editorial on topic of childhood obesity, government "roles" and parental responsibility]

-First response:  FINALLY!  Some sense on this personal and family (but NOT community!) issue.

-Second:  The Post puts a provoking headline and then spends the entire editorial piece talking about Government Commissions and Michelle Obama and then tacks one little paragraph on at the end about it ultimately being a parental responsibility and personal decision.

-Third:  Most things are a Parental Responsibility!!  As a Responsible Parent, I have to say, "Keep your government mitts off my child's weight, eating habits, nose-picking habits, and all the other things that are MY RESPONSIBILITY!"

Debating a new Walmart at former CU med campus

This one is about a series of letters responding to the zoning/public funds/NIMBY/development fight around the proposed new Walmart.  I hate Walmart, because it makes me feel icky.  But more than that, I hate a serious newspaper publishing letters to the editor that instead of intelligent debate, spew cynical, ironic, sarcasm to put forth their point of view.  Isn't that why we're so into public education?  Higher education?  To teach people to express their views using words, reason and logic?  Hmm?

And speaking of logic, it is a delight to me to find logical fallacies.  I find them in commercials, political ads, letters to the editor, tv news stories, and newspaper articles.  They're everywhere!  It's way funner than trying to debate topics with boneheads.  Just find the fallacy in his argument!  Done and undone!

And these are my TAME responses!