Krappy Kancer Diet

I have the last major treatment for my thyroid cancer coming up next week and in preparation for that, I am on a low-iodine diet. It turns out that everything I love, food-wise, is riddled with iodine. I don't normally keep track of how much iodine is in my diet; after this is over I won't have to because I don't have a thyroid gland anymore! Sweet, huh? I don't even have to use iodized salt if I don't want to!

The main things that are terrible about this diet are the restrictions on Dairy products and Eggs. I LOVE THESE ITEMS!!! AND there were some totally great Cheese Sales in the last week or two, so now I have all this exciting cheese in my fridge just laughing and laughing at me. Laughing Cow, indeed. Plus I can't eat commercially-made bread, with its insidious iodate dough conditioner. I can eat up to 6 ounces of meat a day, but with no cheese, no buns, no milk, and no scrambled eggs to go with, it's not very exciting. Basically I can eat a ton of fruits and vegetables, and popcorn. Also unsalted peanuts. I made my own dang bread loaves yesterday, with un-iodized salt, but no milk or eggs, and it's better than the stinkin' loaf I made Sunday, which had no oil for some reason. It was so crusty I sounded like the Quarry Cereal commercial trying to choke it down.

The good thing about this low-iodine diet is that I have lost five pounds since I started it on Saturday. The funny thing about this low-iodine diet is that I knew I needed to start it two weeks before my radioactive iodine treatment on the 20th, so last Friday night, late, I started looking up the particulars on the internet. Last minute medical preparation is so great! I got depressed-er and depressed-er, sitting at the computer realizing what all I couldn't eat for the next at least two weeks. The main depressing things are cheese and ice cream. And milk. My sister owns a stinkin' ice cream store, for cryin' out loud! I almost called them right then, at 9:30pm Friday, to ask if I could rush in to the Baskin-Robbins for one last enormous ice cream treat, but then I was thinking maybe it would just be fine to wait until morning. It's a two-week thing, after all. Twelve hours won't make that big a difference. So that's what I did: I dropped the children at their Primary Activity on Saturday morning and went straight to the ice cream store for my breakfast. I had a big old drippy thing that had the following layers: scoop of World Class Chocolate, brownies, bananas, hot fudge, scoop of World Class Chocolate, hot fudge, whipped cream, nuts. No maraschino cherry, thanks, I'm on a low-iodine diet, wink wink. Oh, red food coloring number 3 is also taboo!

Anyway, I'm getting ready to go upstairs and make my special low-iodine recipe for today: Cauliflower Soup! Mmmmm!! I can't wait!!! No it should be pretty good actually, since I am getting hungrier every day. Even cauliflower soup can be good if you can't eat anything else.

The children had leftover spaghetti last night and I was so jealous. It was all tomato-ey and noodley, with meaty chunks and delightful herbs, and it was packed with iodized salt and other no-nos. I went to the dang store and bought myself a bunch of fruit, and then I splurged on the cauliflower, plus peanuts, and popcorns. Cauliflower is a splurge, too, by the way since it was nearly five bucks for one stinkin' head. Anyway, here's hopin' this makes my remaining thyroid cells good and thirsty for iodine, so the dang Nuclear treatment works its Nuclear Magic!!!!